“Michelle is Repulsive”

This image is not an instruction manual on how to deal with haters. It's part of it, but not the whole story.

Because, honestly, I was incredibly walled off emotionally back then.

Making light and bringing a lot of false bravado to these scenarios was all I had.

Then, I got trained as a coach and everything got screwed up.

Suddenly, I could FEEL things.

Far more deeply than I had ever before in my life.

I would say it was losing my mom that did it, but I didn’t cry at her funeral. I learned how to feel things the year after, through a mix of therapy and the intense coach training program I went through with Accomplishment Coaching

Being on YouTube became unbearable.

Every time I started seeing success, I would back off of it. The threat of being popular enough to attract trolls again was too high.

Then, since the way you do one thing is the way you do everything, I limited my success in every area to mitigate any risk of being hurt. Career, relationships, creativity, you name it.

Stay small.

Don’t attract hate.

The higher you go, the further to fall.

It was my background programming for nearly a decade. I couldn’t shake it.

Few people called me on it. I was doing fine, so most didn’t notice. The ones who did got to see the shittiest side of me imaginable.

Last year, I had a moment of clarity.

I was done mitigating risk.

More than that, I was starving for real self-expression.

I had to stop fending off the people who could see through me.

I needed to surround myself with more of them.

But most importantly, I had to be 100% responsible for breaking up with my own bullshit.

I’ve taken a lot of risks since August 2020. I’ve wanted to stop more times than I can count. I’ve been terrified and elated and discouraged and inspired and knocked out flat on my ass on a weekly basis.

I’ve flailed around with unhelpful coping mechanisms. I’ve started to capture my actual voice in my writing. I’ve wondered when I’ll lose everything. I’ve built a robust community and a movement of artists making things and supporting each other.

I’ve found the ability to take care of myself in a way I never had before.

I’m at a point where the "repulsive" comment would genuinely make me laugh. It would still prickle the back of my neck and make my ears turn hot, and I would likely still think about it for an inordinate amount of time.

But I let it go sooner now. I arrive at compassion more quickly. And then I remind myself that I have so many more important things to do than giving my energy to trolls.

The only caveat I will give is this:

Once you are clear who you are and what you stand for, you can handle any comment thrown your way.

Some days, you delete, because that’s what your gut says. Others, you respond, and then take a screenshot so you can train your audience how to relate to you.

But that first step is the one most people skip. It is the difference between reacting and responding.

And when you’re looking to lead an empire, responding is key.

These are the kinds of conversations I get to be in for the next 3 months with a group of Incredible creatives, and I can’t wait.

There are still a few open seats in The Spotlight Series, but that’s only because people who applied haven’t responded to my outreach yet. I’ve got more applications than seats right now, so if you’re interested, get yours in today. Link in the top navigation.